My Angel is the centerfold

Photo entry. What I have been up to for the last few weeks. Hopefully things will settle down a bit. Camping this weekend and riding Mick (bike). Rode into work yesterday and am pretty effing proud of that! It was to the Sheraton and I had to carry 2 changes of clothes, work 15 hours in heels and ride home. Don't regret it! I am really feeling the city on the bike. The subtle weather changes, the smells and the tone and life of the city in it's quietest moments. loving it.

So, here is what I have been doing:

concert at Bottletree. Great Book of John. check em out. first time to ride bike to a bar!



hanging with fellow Triathabloggers



Triathablog Kick off party. the paperwork, the excitement, the best online contest ever (besides Cheap Women of course!)




the support.




and finally: Convention for work. where I have spent 36 hours in 3 days. But check out my bounty! seeming a little more fun when I look at it like this...

75+ books and 12 tote bags! met fun authors (R.L Stine, Greg Mortensen, John Grogan among many others), cocktail parties every night. I.am.exhausted.

My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you

That REO Speedwagon song has been in my head for days. Strange!

Thanks for all of the kind notes and calls and emails the past few days. I didn't realize that post sounded so sad. That was not my intention, but so be it.

Well, I decided it was time for action. This little funk seems to have settled it's happy ass down and decided to stay for a visit. One things i have learned over the past few years is this- "Fake it till you make it". In other words, do things that you used to enjoy and maybe eventually you will enjoy them again. I am not going to go around smiling and denying that I am unhappy, but I am also not going to give in and go to bed.

Last night I cooked dinner for a 2 close friends and enjoyed their company. I tried not to beat myself up that I had not gone to get drinks with other friends who had invited me. Cooking was good for me, as was some gardening and taking photographs. After dinner, we made butter! I have been wanting to do this for a while, so John decided to teach me (it involves a lot of shaking and some dancing and laughing). Let me tell you, homemade butter is awesome. Creamy and light. I had it on toast for breakfast and was happy.

This weekend I am going canoeing again, something that is very life giving to me. The water, the sun, the trees, using my muscles...I love it. I never used to be an 'outdoorsy' person, but this year I am discovering my inner naturalist and athelete! I am also hoping to have another friend for dinner and beer and laughing.

And The Beatles are helping as well. and Wilco. And Feist. Tristan and J Mraz. G Love. Good, happy summertime music. Well, Wilco Sky Blue Sky isn't happy, but comforting.

These things may not make the sadness go away, but at least it will make it bearable. I don't want to have a year pass me by in a grief induced stupor. My life is different now, but it is still my life. Incoporating the grief into my life seems to be the key to survival. Don't deny it, but don't make a bed for it to sleep in either.

I am sure there will be lots of pictures coming up. I have a few of the butter churning that I need to put up. I am not sure making butter has ever been so physical or hysterical!

It's gonna start today, My Life of Saturdays

Yesterday, a friend and I took an hour drive to West Blocton to see the Cahaba Lily. I had heard of this elusive flowers and, as a part of my quest to See and Do Alabama, decided to take a trip to see it.

What is the Cahaba Lily?

Hymenocallis coronaria (Cahaba Lily or Shoals spider-lily) is a species of the genus Hymenocallis, native to the Southeastern United States. It is an aquatic, perennial flowering plant found only in Alabama, Georgia, and South Carolina. Within Alabama it is known as the Cahaba Lily, outside of that state it is known as the Shoals spider-lily due to the fact that it requires a swift, shallow, water current and direct sunlight to flourish.[1] The plant grows to about 3 feet (0.9 m) tall and develops from a bulb that lodges in between rocks in the shoals.[2] It blooms from early May to late June. Each fragrant flower blooms for one day.[1]
from Wikipedia


Well, after taking the Mini along a dirt and gravel road (boy, did we get some looks!), we parked, got out the camera bag, water bottles and headed out.


The first glimpse of 'the largest single stand of Lilies in the world". It was quite a sight, these dainty white flowers seemingly rising from the water in a dazzling display of green and white. Unable to get a good view, we kept going along the road. Some ways down, we came upon an empty shore area. After walking through the trees a bit, we found a big rock that afforded us a good view. Unsatisfied, we decided that we must get right up to them.

So, we went swimming. At first we just waded a bit out. They we needed the cameras, so I waded back, retrieved them and (after putting them in a Ziploc bag), waded back out with them held high over my head. Thank goodness I bought the accidental insurance. It was such a sight! I took some great shots, retired the camera to a HUGE boulder in the middle, and Jenn and I swam all over the place. We explored a cave, swam right up to the lilies that everyone is enchanted with. We used some rocks covered in algea as a water slide (it worked and was so fun!). We laughed a lot and splashed around for 3 hours! Everyone on the shores was watching 'those two crazy girls who are crossing the river and swimming in the lilies'!


hours later, exhausted and feet bleeding (damn snails...I am investing in chacos this week), we left. Stomachs growling, we stopped at The American Diner, where we were the only patrons and the cook made the best cornbread I have ever had (even going back to make me more!). It was delightful and the unsweet tea made me realize why people love tea in the south. Full and happy, we headed back to the city we call home.

All in all, a wonderful day. I highly recommend going to see the Lilies if you can. And splashing in the river. I hope to take a canoe trip there soon. After some editing fun, I may post more photos.

Redemption

This was to be my wedding day. It was a lovely day with friends who celebrated life with me.

Beauty in the ruins.

Weekend round-up

This weekend was full of friends and parties and art and weirdness. I am exhausted, physically and emotionally, so forgive me if this entry is a bit spacey.

Friday my friend Jenn came to stay with me. Jenn has been in Malawi, Africa for six months as a missionary, so I was very glad to see her. So glad that I gave up my Friday night routine for her! She, Carrie and I talked and laughed and caught up until the wee hours (or midnight, which seems really late these days).

Saturday we both slept till 11! Then we got up and sat outside in my garden area and ate veggie omelets and drank too much coffee for a few hours. I caught her up on my life (when she left I had just gotten engaged, so lots has happened...), and it was a lovely morning. Around 2:30, we decided to get dressed and go to lunch. An afternoon with good food and shopping and bookstore browsing commenced. This was followed by a going away party for Brent at Cal's house. It was very nice, with different groups of people and babies and food and cigars and beer. I floated in and out of all of the groups and generally had a good time.

I am in such a weird place right now. I am simply not very comfortable in big groups. This is a big change for me, as I have always been very social and am really good in big groups. Now however, I feel out of place. I know that it is because I am changing so much and trying to fit the changes into my life, but it still sucks. I am either really quiet (which I am ok with), or I become 'life of the party' Elisa. Center of attention, joking, being silly. I DO NOT like this Elisa. One day I will be able to be that person again in public, but now it feels strange and I want to crawl under a rock. My life feels quieter, so I am more comfortable being quieter and calmer. Does that even make sense? Anyway, the party was really nice and it was good to see old friends and get to talk to Brent and wish him well.

Sunday was brunch with a family that I love. They are family to me, and I am so grateful to have them in my life. There is something beautiful about being able to go to someone's house and be 'Sisa', and eat food with them and be with them as they go about regular life. Help myself to their coffee and read stories with their kids. I love it. Later, after a lovely hour on the Starbucks patio, Jenn and I went to Magic City Art Connection. It was my first time there and I really dug it. I bought some lovely jewelry, some as gifts for others, some as gifts for me. On to church. Again, it was nice. The sermon was about Death, and I think that I have some questions for Tom, but will deal with that later...

After church I went to Surin with my friend Liz and her Community Group. Again, a big crowd. Again, hilarious Elisa was out. I had a good time,but was a bit awkward being around young married couples, as my wedding date was to be 2 weeks from Saturday. I am gearing up for a sucky start to May. Scott's birthday is the 6th, wedding date on the 10th, Honeymoon 12-20. sigh. I don't want those days to come and go. I don't want to wake up on May 10 and go canoing instead of get married. I want to have my wedding and wear my dress and dance to The Spots and become his wife and start our lives together. That is what I want.

I digress.

All in all, a nice weekend. Bittersweet. One of the best parts was realizing how much I love my apartment and what retreat from the world it is. Well, I am exhausted tonight and looking forward to resting a bit this week. Next weekend is Jazz Fest(!) and I am very much looking forward to that. I do love Festival Season!

Thanks friends, for sticking with this. Thanks for the beers and the support and for letting me be melancholy or silly or loud or insecure or honest or awkward or quiet. It is appreciated. Have a great week!

The girl that is me

Hello friends (and blogger stalkers!). I just returned to my cozy little abode from a concert. Who? you ask. Tristan Prettyman. I have loved her since her first album came out a couple years ago. Mellow, sweet, upbeat, summertime music. I discovered her because she did duets with guys I LOVE, G Love and Jason Mraz.
Tonight's show was at the always wonderful Workplay Theater (ok, putting links in is a huge pain in the ass...if we were writing a note to our friends, we would just mention it...in this new medium, you have to give credit and links and other time sucking things. I digress). It was a small, very intimate show and she was endearing. Her album, Madly, is doing well and she was giddy about it. Adorable, and so talented. Plus, her dress was awesome.
Opening for her was an Australian cutie called Whitley, whose name, I am sorry to say, is Lawrence (oh come on...I had to!). He is a very big 'pop star' in Australia and I thoroughly enjoyed his set. I may or may not have flirted with him at the merch table. His music was great and he told funny stories about getting drunk and singing karaoke at Starz (where he went to 'meet girls'!). Then he started playing and opened his mouth and we all shut the hell up. His voice was smoky, dirty and smooth. I went out after his set and immediately bought an album (when the alleged flirting took place). This post is so random and fragmented...and I have had nothing to drink, I promise.

The Tristan show was good, but (like most things right now) bittersweet. Scott and I danced to her and I once forced a 'movie moment' on us to one of her songs (long story that mostly involves me being a silly girl). These moments are going to keep on coming and I am going to keep on surviving them. Soon they won't happen as often and then they won't seem so terrible, and then one day they will just be fond memories of a boy I loved. Jeez, heavy posts lately, huh? Well, that is my life. If you want happy you will have to look for it elsewhere. I can give you authentic, or nothing. Joy, sadness, grief, longing, redemption. Nope, fake happiness is not on the menu...

I leave you with a video of Tristan, since I have no idea how to embed an mp3. Fred, a little assistance on this...?

this is Always Feel this Way. The song I forced a romantic moment to! Enjoy

Weekend round-up

This weekend round-up is going to be a bit redundant, as I've blogged a bit this weekend.

Friday night, I did what I do almost every Friday night. Not a thing. I came home, ate and took a little nap. Awoke and putzed around the house, showered a read until bed at midnight. This is my little routine on Fridays and I find myself looking forward to it starting every Wednesday.

Saturday I spent the day in Waverly, AL. See last post for more on this.

Sunday was a lovely, lovely day. Breakfast with a dear friend at V Richards. We normally only spend about 45min to an hour, but today it was nearly 2 hours. I sorely needed the encouragement and fellowship. Thanks Charlotte. I came home, grabbed a blanket, book and glass of water and headed outside. I laid on the ground and perused the Times Book Review. After about an hour, I realized that the backs of my knees were sorely sunburned (oops) and I headed inside...to finish my nap. It was a heavenly rest with the breeze and the smell of fresh earth and the birds chirping. Next up was a grocery store bike ride, where I was nearly run over by the many, many, many people in my neighborhood for the Earth Day free admission to the Zoo and festival at the Botanical Gardens. I had planned on strolling over to the gardens later, and promptly decided that was a terrible idea.
I have found that a great way to talk to my neighbors is to park my bike somewhere. Everyone wants to talk about it, or reminisce about the time they rode a similar one, of how badly they want to start riding again. Today it was an older gentleman who told me that he belonged to, and helped start, the Birmingham Bike Club. He described the bike he used to ride (flown in from Japan!) and the good times the club had. He fondly recalled the picture that the inagural group took and described it to me in painstaking detail. It was certainly a refreshing, surprising conversation for a balmy Sunday afternoon.
Went to church and was again delighted at how at home I feel. It is such a gift. Scott K. gave a great sermon and music was, as always, inspiring and worshipful.
Home to cook. Sat down on the kitchen floor, with NPR's The Splendid Table podcast (a Sunday night ritual) playing and cookbooks spread around me. I decided what to cook for dinner (summer squash), and blanched some green beans to make a green bean salad in the morning. I love looking through each cookbook and seeing what strikes my fancy. Today it was Essentials of Classic Italian Cooking by Marcella Hazan as well as Provence: The beautiful cookbook. Both highlight the flavor of vegetables with simple preparation. Planned some meals for the week, ate the one prepared tonight and dreamed of a trip to Italy. Instead of Italy, I opted to do laundry. What an exciting life I lead! Just like those single women on Sex and the City...or the complete opposite.

Well, off to read Alton Brown's Feasting on Asphalt:The River Run (do you sense a theme in my life?!). I hope you all had a restful and enjoyable weekend. Sweet Dreams.

I need a little place in the sun sometimes

A visual of my little garden stoop:




Come summer, I will have so many tomatoes, greens, lemons and beans that I may set up a stand on the side of the road. Or invite friends over to share in my bounty, eating tomatoes over bread, drizzled with olive oil and fresh basil. Beans steamed immediately off the vine, with a dash of fresh lemon vinaigrette and accompanied by a glass of wine and conversation. Dessert of sweet strawberries and whipped cream. A taste of heaven. A respite from the brokenness of this life.

Lovely

Weekend round-up

I missed last week, and this one is late. My apologies for all of you who wait every week with baited breath to see just how I spend the Saturdays of my life.

This weekend, I was kind of a bad-ass. I mean, in my own little way.

Friday, I tried to script. Didn't go so well, so I slept instead. Don't worry, the bad-assy-ness is coming up...

Saturday I went and scripted in the morning. I actually wrote this time. Then CJ and I went to Brookside, AL for the Brookside Greenway Festival. CJ was treated like a celebrity...which meant that I was as well. (She used to report on that small town and made them feel important and cared about, which is a beautiful gift that she has. They see her as a female Ricky Bragg around those parts!). We heard about the history and then...went on a canoe ride (see what a bad ass I am?!). We canoed the mile easily, and decided toward the end that we didn't want it to be over, so we should probably turn around and go against the stream. We also planned a canoe trip for May 10 (more on that later), and another one with one of the owners (I told you they love her) for after a big rain. A 10 mile trip. I can't wait.
Then we milled around a bit, and decided to get out of the rain and go to O'Henry's. I love this place. I didn't realize how much I love it until this weekend. It has the coolest vibe (and Fred from Lasers edge still has his own drink named after him there, which I totally dug), and is comfortable and welcoming. After some coffee, it was on to the bike shop, where I shopped and my friend flirted. I bought a rack and headlight and taillight (finally! no more prayerful rides home at night on Montevallo road). Went home, rested and showered...then went back to OHenry's for more scripting with another friend.
Sunday, I got up and had coffee and french toast. Sat on the stoop a while, then decided to go for a quick little bike ride. An hour later I returned home, dehydrated, covered in mud and exhausted, but thrilled. I had, in the span of the hour, become a biker. I biked hills, I flipped off rude drivers, I carried my bike over a stream, I dashed in and around puddles, I rode over rocks and grass. In short, I was a bad ass.
On to church, after a quick shower. yes, that's right-church. The place I had been avoiding since Scott's death (and honestly for some time before that). It was time. And you know what...it felt like coming home. The place had changed and I didn't feel totally at home, but I was loved and knew that one day it would fit better. again. It was very hopeful. Plus, I really, really missed the music. Also met with a building guy about the garden I am going to make on the rooftop patio. I am very excited and hopeful about that. Now I need to get a proposal together, some volunteers, a long term plan...yikes. Oh, and some plants. I think it is going to be a healing, life-giving thing for me.
Then I went home and went to bed. Slept like a baby.
Today I biked for my first time across a busy intersection (on 31) back to the bike shop to have my rack and water bottle put on. I am ready. You may never see me in my Mini again...

Well, off to bed. Or to script. Probably bed...

Can't talk now...I'm writing my latest screenplay

Tomorrow begins Script Frenzy! It is a creative journey to write a feature length screenplay (or stage play) in just 30days. I did it last year and it was so much fun. 100 pages, all formatted for a screenplay (which is very different and hard to get used to). Luckily, I also get some cool screenplay writing software.

Doing this last year really changed me. I rediscovered my love of writing. I almost moved to go to screenwriting school! I even entered (and placed!) in some screenwriting contests. You would be so surprised at the stuff that comes pouring out when you are under a deadline and are not editing your work(that is part of the fun...you just write a draft, and then edit it later...no one even reads it). Every scene that jumps into my head goes on the page, with all the cuts coming later. Re-reading last years, some of the scenes I was most unsure of are the ones that I ended up liking the most. Plus, I enjoy making my soundtrack as I go, then making a copy of it and listening to it often. For almost every scene I write, there is a song that goes along with it. You begin to see your life in a whole new light for this month. Everything becomes a potential scene, a possible conflict for your characters, a great conversation to fill the gap between scene 15 and 16.

Everyone has a story to tell, whether we choose to write it in screenplay form, journal form, short story, photographs, blog or novel. Everyone. You begin to understand your life better and make connections that you didn't see as you tell your story. Your story is begging to be told, to be remembered, to be made sense of.

We have all been trained to believe that you have to be a 'good writer' to tell a good story. That is crap. As long as you write, you are a writer. I used to be afraid to write becuase I was afraid of what people would think if/when they read it. I was pretty sure that I wasn't Wendell Berry or Harper Lee, so I assumed my stories weren't as important. Ha! I now know better.
So I challenge you to write. Whatever, whenever, wherever, just write. Heck, why not even join me and write a screenplay this month? It is so freeing.

Besides, do you know how cool you sound saying that you are "writing your latest screenplay"? Pretty damn cool. Watching movies and scouring record stores and the internet for obscure songs become research, not a time waster.

So, this month I will have a notebook and/or laptop in front of me. I will be drinking copious amounts of coffee and keeping strange hours. Don't be alarmed if I quickly start jotting things down as we talk, or ask you the name of the band who had that 'one song that year that went like this...". It will all make sense when Searchlight buys the rights. Who knows, you may see someone who is startlingly similar to you...

Termites and crack...or Elisa's First day of Spring

Yesterday was a good day. Got a ton done at work, although never as much as I hope. My friend let me borrow his car as mine is still in the shop, the sun was shining. Scott's family came for a little visit and brought me the rest of my new bedroom furniture (before and after pics soon), and I planned to have CJ over for a new recipe (a rendition of Urban Standard's Orzo pasta salad) and a beer to celebrate Spring the start of Kitchn: The Cure, which we are both participating it. And, she and I signed up for a veggie CSA with Grow Alabama. All good things to celebrate!

I get home and start to cook. Tender Orzo boiling on the stove, beer freshly opened, when I notice a little bug. I thought "Well, that's what you get when you cook with the door open" and killed it. Then I noticed another...and another. I determined that they were coming from the water heater closet. I opened it up to find TERMITES! EVERYWHERE! There was a crazy swarm of them. I instantly freaked out and started doing an insane "get the hell away from me" dance and armed myself with the only chemical left in my house: bleach. I sprayed them as though they were out to kill, yelling things like I hope this burns your soft, soft underbellies (what!?)and You will not ruin my Easter!!. About this time CJ came in. Witnessing my meltdown, she quickly decided we must go out to eat. On our way to a Mexican joint for Guac, we saw Nabeels...and quickly pulled in.
It was wonderful. We feasted on stuffed grape leaves and feta, Taramasalata dip (the aptly named 'crack' dish of caviar and greek yogurt) and fried potatoes. Accompanied by wine of course. My termite problems were soon forgotten in an hour long conversation about food (seriously, we talked food for an hour). We dissected the flavors and nuances of each item and their pairings and potential. It was refreshing. It was also decided that we now must start a tradition of Greek food on the First Day of Spring. After literally eating the dip with our fingers after running out of crudites, we decided it might be time to go home....to the TERMITES.
they had all perished in a chemical induced frenzy and lay waste on my kitchen floor. A quick run with the vaccuum and the evidence was gone.
This easily could have been my undoing. I am just starting to like the apartment, and this incident could have turned me off of my kitchen and my home completely. But it didn't. I cleaned up, drank and beer and laughed about it. After Ant Wars 2008, termites are a breeze.
When I got to work today and told my 'cellmate' about it, a coworker from a few cubes away piped up "When are you going to call someone about getting your hex removed". I need to get on that...

A visual of the horror:

Mark your Calendars

I am having a book swap! I have WAY too many books that I get from work, both childrens and adult...so time to share. I am not vouching for the literary wonderfullness of any, but they are free. If you have any books or cd's you are ready to part with, bring 'em by. I plan to do this fairly regularly. I figure it is also a good way for us 'bloggy friends' to hang out. Bring your non-blogging friends as well (if there are any out there...). Please come even if you have no books to swap...you can pick some up and then swap them next time.

Saturday March 15 11-3 Open house style. I will be hangin' out, probably reading or getting my hands dirty outside.
Come on by. Stay for 10 minutes, stay for all 4 hours. If you get there early enough there may be snacks!
You can admire my tiny garden, drink some beer...talk books, whatever. Kids are welcome, as I have a big grassy area out back for running and playing. Adults are encouraged to run and play as well.

I am not going to include my address, but most of you know how to get in touch with me. Or know someone who does. Directions will make their way around, I am sure of it.

See you then! More reminders to come!

The Tree of Life my soul hath seen

The most beautiful pictures I have seen in quite some time.

Caleb Melese Treadwell and his parents. Welcome to our community Caleb. We love you already.

I'll just find a comfy spot and i'll wait it out

I have been looking through my blogs from the last 2 months and am surprised that a) it has been 2 months since Scott's death and b) that I haven't fallen apart sooner.

It seems like so much shorter, yet I almost can't remember what life was like before this. I don't want it to define me, and I don't think that it will, but it is woven into the fabric of who I am now, and can't be taken out.

I am starting to see glimpses of who I am, who I will be and who I used to be. I think that the scars are starting to slowly show themselves. I think that I am going to be slower and quieter. Less edgy, more safe. Take the edge off of my sharpness. Gosh, even writing this, I realize that how I feel and act changes day to day. One day I am so angry at God and at Scott. The next day I am weeping and crying out and can't boil water without crying. Somedays, I will go half the morning and then realize/remember what happened. It doesn't even feel like my life is my life right now. I am surviving and trying to make sense out of it. Can sense be made of it? Is it a futile endeavor?
I know that one day my story will flesh out and I will see this, as we all will see the pain and hurt and realize the good. Until then, I am working on how to live my day to day life. How to trust and hope. How to help my friends trust and hope as well. I am not the only one with crap going on, and I see it in my community and it breaks my heart. How do we all do it? My stuff seems like too much to carry...how can I help you carry yours? How do I speak the Truth to you when I am not sure that I even believe it? Tell you to hope when mine feels dried out? It is hard and it is broken. In the end I guess I just need to pray for God to help my unbelief. Help me hope, help me pray. Help me care for those in my life. Help me. I am utterly incapable.

Warning: self promotion ahead!

Ok, I normally wouldn't post something like this, but I have been feeling so crazy and down, that when I read this I smiled for a long time. This blogging thing is relatively new to me, but I love it. It is an outlet, and i often wonder if it is boring or too self-important, too scattered, too everything.

Then I saw this on Natalie's blog and I cried, for all the good reasons. It made me feel special and significant (and sometimes we all need that):


"Elisa, a friend of mine from church, recently found my blog, and I am telling you right now to stop everything go read her. Reading her blog is like is like standing, arms outstretched, in the desert while the rushing wind sends your hair dancing out behind you and bites your eyes to tears."

How could I not read that and be thrilled? Thanks Natalie, you are so free and brave.

You don't belong to me now

Scott's mother, Pat, came tonight to help me pack up and move things as well as pick up the last of Scott's belongings. After we had packed, loaded and unloaded (also after sharing a couple of beers and toasting and remembering and commiserating and gossiping), it came time for her to go. Wishing desperately to postpone her leaving and all that inevitably meant, I said "Have some books!" and proceeded to load her up with books. As I went through my ever growing stacks of books, I handed her a book that I read recently and loved, with characters I still think of often. I hesitated, then thought (and probably said aloud) "I'm sure I can get another one. You take this one, it is wonderful". I missed that book after it had left.

I like the company of books. Just having them around. I often run my fingers over the rows of spines, thinking of what each book means to me. I can tell you a story of almost every book on my shelves, even the ones that I have not yet read. When everything started in Dec, the first thing I grabbed was my collection of Wendell Berry books. Handbags, shoes and clothing...even my bed, be damned...I need my books. Who knew when I would need the comfort of a sentance in "Jayber Crow" or to hear Hannah's words? The first thing I did in my new apartment was unpack my bookshelves, because until that is done, it is not home.

Tonight, later, after finishing yet another great book, I realized that I didn't want "Sugar Queen" back. I gave it to Pat because I hoped that it would comfort and entertain and enthrall her as much as it had me. Once I passed it along to her, it no longer belonged to me. I don't know what it may mean to her...it may spark something completely different, or may have no affect at all. However, in giving it to her, I was also giving a bit of myself. That book is missing from my shelves for a reason and I don't want to fill it back in.

We give to people, little bits of ourself. While they are still inherently ours (hospitality, creativity, ability, etc), each time we give them, they become part of that person as well. I know that it sounds cheesy to compare giving books to giving of ourselves, but for me they are one and the same. That is how it has always been and probably always will be. And I like it.

Because the water is healthy for the roses in your cheeks

I am thinking about getting a community garden plot in downtown Birmingham. They are run by Jones Valley Urban Farm. Lately, all I can think about is gardening and getting soil under my nails and eating fresh produce.
Now, I have never been a gardener, but I figure now is the time to start! Perhaps, get a friend involved and we can share the plot (it is 50 feet!). Do I have the time to spend? Who knows?! Can I make the time...yep. I really think that I can. It is going to be hard and backbreaking, but I the thought is hopeful and exciting.

Thoughts? has anyone done anything like this before?

I will let you know what I decide. Right now I am letting it marinate...


I want to smell fresh soil and cut grass, sweat mingled with earth. I want to wear a bandanna and torn jeans and use a spade and shovel. Beautifully calloused fingers and dusty shoes. I want it all.


Gosh, I hope they have some available. Are there any other community gardens in Birmingham?

*UPDATE: No plots available at Jones Valley and all of the other organizations that had community gardens have shut down i.e BUGS. So, it looks like I may have to garden in the patch of grass that comes with my apartment. I am looking at building a raised garden bed, so if anyone has any scrap wood to donate, that would be great! Or any skills in helping me know what the heck I am doing!!*

Weekend round-up

I just finished my first entire weekend in my new home. It was unexpectedly lovely, for so many reasons. Here is a run down (because I am sure you are just dying to know my weekend details...)

Friday night I said goodbye to Angelica, an unexpected friend from China. She is so brave and fun. She also dresses like Slash sometimes! I also had refreshing, authentic conversations with RMC friends. Went home and went to bed early.

Saturday I started the day with a coffee cupping at Primavera with C.J, a friend who went from a blogger friend to a 'real' friend. I had the best Mocha that I have found in town so far (the very best mocha is from Mocha in downtown Milwaukee...a wonderful mix of dark chocolate, milk, caramel, foam...mmm). The cupping was wonderful and introduced me to their fresh roasted Brazilian blend, which I promptly bought. Then on to The Summit, where I found out that poppies grow in Alabama! Picked up a packet of those and the Smith and Hawken catalog, a dreaming gardeners, well, dream! Next stop, Williams Sonoma. Again, more dreaming and buying. Grapeseed oil in a tin, biscuit cutters...
I digress.
Stopped by Starbucks to have coffee and spend time with a friend I hadn't seen in a while and friends I see often. Kidnapped far-away friend for bike buying excursion. 1 hour later, I was the proud owner of a cool cruiser. Said cruiser has been described by a friend as 'the mac of bikes, sleek and black and white". sigh. It's true. I rode it to a bookshop and grocery store, wearing a skirt and checkered Vans, feeling like a million bucks!!
The day also included lunch and beer at The Garage, and cooking dinner for friends mentioned above. It ended at Bottletree for a Dance Party where I shook my ass with about 100 hipsters, decked out in spandex, dreads, and fanny packs. What a day. The best one I have had in quite some time.
Today (Sunday) I have read my Teen book (An Abundance of Katherines). Thanks Tillman3x's for the rec and the borrowed copy. Also worked on my pesto recipe. Recipe to be shared soon, once it is tweaked a bit more. Modifications include arugula and sprouts. Also successfully tried Red Velvet cake balls from Bakerella.

All in all a very lovely weekend, full of friends, food and other feel good things. God really knows exactly how to make me feel at home here in my new little nest. It's funny how He shows up just when I am sure that he has forgotten me and reminds me that He knows me best and can speak intimately to my deepest fears and pains and longings.

Caleb Treadwell

This little boy is now officially a Treadwell.

Caleb helps me believe in Redemption

French Press wishes and coffee bean dreams

I think that I may have to trek out to Primavera coffee soon. I looked at their website (Thanks, C.J for the tip!) and anyplace that describes themselves this way is where I want to be...

"Primavera dreams of a world filled with bicycles (and the occasional biodiesel-fueled vehicle), farmer’s markets, rosettas, and red wigglers all co-existing in perfect harmony. Siestas will be nationally implemented. Buildings will look as if they tumbled out of the mind of Howard Roark. People will dream, and then act. Laundry will contentedly hang between ancient trees, drying in the golden sun. Failure to conserve and recycle will result in a friendly visit with the local law enforcement officers. The words “High Fructose Corn Syrup” will be banished from the dictionary. The drip machine will battle its nemesis, the French press, only to meet its bloody death. And specialty coffee will reside in the same category as fine art… " From the Primavera website.

I oft dream of a house made by Howard Roark and I simply must buy my coffee from those who share that dream. I know it sounds silly to buy coffee when I have pound upon pound of free Starbucks coffee taking up space in my cabinets, but I just may have to. Live locally and sip contendly, that is.