This entry is going to be all over the place. "How is that different from all of your other posts?" you may ask. it is not.
First of all, this goes out to my good friend Jenn, who requested a blog about The Sound of Music. It is the best movie ever. Ok, that may not be true, but this movie makes me feel safe. When I had my latest eye surgery at the age of 24, the only thing that I wanted to do was watch The Sound of Music and sing along. That movie feels like home to me, which is saying a lot. And that Captain VonTrapp is just so dreamy. I love to watch it and sing along loudly with wine or beer. I am weird. There was redemption in that movie. The part that totally creeps me out however, is when they get married and then the children start calling Maria "Mother". i don't like that. I relate to Maria. I watched recently and it was so good to watch right now. It is about a woman trying to figure out who she is, and changing the course of her well-planned life to do it. I love that. so, that is my blog about The Sound of Music. I love you Jenn!
Last night I had some major family drama. It was heartbreaking. How did I become the voice of reason? And why am I the only person who sees certain things? How do parents fail their children and then wonder why suddenly there is an angry, bitter 18 year old acting out? messing up. It is so sad. I can't write any more about this right now, it is too fresh. more to come later.
I am thinking of going to film school for Screenplay writing. I did a crazy thing in July and I wrote a feature length film in 30 days. it was challenging, but fun. To my surprise I loved it, and am quite good at it. So much so that I have entered various contests and written more and want to pursue it. This prospect is very exciting for me, yet Terribly Scary. This entire past year, I have decided to let go of safe, and choose adventure. choose freedom. choose beauty. It IS scary, yes, but my life has been scary so far and I have made it. I am stronger. I figure why not choose scary, especially when it is exciting-scary, not suffering-scary. Nothing is really safe here. The illusion of control is all we have.
So, get ready for me to be the next Matt Damon...or at least have him star in one of my films. I am thinking something along the lines of 'girl leaves safe world, becomes world famous blogger and/or screenwriter, ends up marrying big star who stars in her first film'. Then gives millions to charities and open skateboarding parks in lower income areas. Oscar, here I come...
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3 comments:
Awesome. And it is freaky when they start calling her "Mother," and suddenly she is completely confident about everything. Beautiful family. But think about how they must have been after that nice walk over the mountains, fleeing the Nazis, and then immigrating to NY. There must have been drama. Even the von Trapps must have been screwed up. Luckily, the movie didn't show us everything, and it ended before things probably got really bad. I think that just as beautiful a movie could be made about your family--or anyone's--crazy as families may be, there's the on-screen and the off-screen. Your family has beautiful qualities. I know; I've seen the pictures. And as doubtful as that seems right now, if you really stop and think about it, I know you'll be able to find von Trapp moments. Thanks for the shout-out.
Jenn, you are wise. and underestimated. Thank you for seeing things that I can't see. and being hopeful for me.
the best stories always are about redemption.
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